How I Got Through Engineering School as a Single Parent

For me, life after high school started out a bit different from the majority of my peers. I became a father shortly after graduating high school. Prior to my son’s birth, I opted to completely drop out of college a week before classes started, and try to find a job. I graduated from high school in 2008 and became a father in February of 2009. By the time my son was born, I was making minimum wage working at an apartment complex doing groundskeeping and simple maintenance. Although I was thankful to have a job, I knew this wasn’t going to be the best way to provide the lifestyle I wanted for myself and my son. To do this, I would have had to win the lottery, possibly work multiple jobs, or go back to college to earn a degree in hopes I could find a higher paying job. I chose the latter, and selected engineering as the focus for my degree. Continue reading to find out how I got through engineering school as a single parent.

To support myself, even before starting engineering school, the first thing I had to do was grow up quickly. Since my responsibilities increased tremendously after becoming a father, I had to learn time management skills and prioritize my wants and needs. For many years, my biggest want and biggest need were the same thing: to graduate with my engineering degree to find a high paying job. I dedicated 4.5 years of my life to achieving this want/need. 

Like most students, to get myself through school, I primarily needed two things: money and time to study. As a student and single parent, I would need a lot more of both of these. In order to support myself financially, I relied on the following: work, scholarships, grants, and student loans. In order to be able to go to class and study, I relied on many incredible support systems. All of these will be discussed in detail.

Although a significant percentage of my college tuition was paid for through the Florida Bright Futures Scholarship, I still worked a combination of full and part time over the 4.5 years it took me to obtain my BSEE. Working was the primary way I supported myself financially throughout school. I also supported myself with the assistance of federal grants and federal student loans. In this arena, becoming a father worked to my benefit, as it granted me independent status when applying for financial aid. Becoming an independent student meant that I no longer had to furnish my parents income, which disqualifies most students from gaining access to this type of federal financial aid. Independent status, along with minimal work income, gained me access to the maximum levels of federal grants and loans. Although the student loans would eventually become a debt needing to be paid off, they, along with work income and federal grants, covered all remaining post-scholarship school expenses, and all living and daycare expenses throughout my time in school.

Figuring out how to support myself financially was only half of the solution to getting through school. The other half of the solution was figuring out how I would actually work, go to school, study, and raise a child. By managing my time, and with the help of incredibly supportive groups of people, I was able to do all of these things.

As a single parent, school and work would not be possible without childcare. Having regular, daytime childcare was the primary way I was able to work and go to school throughout the day. However, as implied by the name, this level of care only lasted during the day. In order to go to night classes, I needed an extra layer of support. Although we weren’t together, I had a great relationship with my son’s mother, and we managed to work out a schedule each semester that accommodated my schooling needs. This generally translated to my son primarily staying with his mother during the first half of the week, and he staying with me the latter half of the week and through the weekend.

Like most engineering students, I studied during any and all spare times, especially as I got further into my degree. I studied before and after class, on the weekends, and even while I was at work. With respect to work, I was very fortunate to not only have an incredible job, but also have incredibly supportive management who was rooting for my success. For the majority of time in school, I worked as an IT specialist at a private school in Downtown Tampa. My bosses encouraged me to study in between taking care of my IT duties, which primarily consisted of completing IT related activities for the faculty and staff at the school. This was one of the best jobs I had since graduating high school, primarily because of the people I worked with, who were all incredibly supportive and encouraging.

In general, success is rarely individually attained. Rather, success is oftentimes a group effort. I attribute much of my college success to an incredibly intelligent group of friends, with whom I studied with all the time. It is because of these friends that I decided to quit working one semester. I did this so I could take more credit hours to keep up with this group, so that we could continue to study and graduate together. It is also with this group that I had the most socialization, as my situation didn’t lend itself to the stereotypical college experience.

By far the greatest system of support I had in school was my immediate family, which consisted of my mom, stepdad, brother, grandparents, and even my son. I would have never achieved any success without their overwhelming love and support. Over and above being alternate caregivers for my son, I could always rely on my immediate family for emotional, and even financial support. Through my son, I managed to stay grounded, and always focused on completing the mission. For all of these reasons and more, I am forever indebted to my family. 

In reading this article, the most important thing to realize is that I was never truly alone in trying to achieve my goals. I had phenomenal, diverse systems of support through different financial institutions, the daycare system, my son’s mother, my work and college peers, and my family. Combined, it was through all of these that I was able to get through engineering school as a single parent.